7/8 7/12 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/13 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 7/27 8/2 8/3 8/3 8/9 8/9 8/16 8/23
FS 3|3 FS 0|0 HB 0|2 BW 0|4 EL 1|1 ON 0|0 IS 0|13 EL 1|1 IS 0|0 WW 0|0 ON 3|0 KF 6|3 KF 0|1|0 FS 0 BW 1|2 EL 1|2 R★ 2 BW 0 The
WW 0|0 WA 1|1 KF 1|3 KF 1|10 HB 0|0 WA 3|3 WO 11|8 WA 0|2 WA 3|3 ON 3|3 WW 1|1 WO 0|0 EL 4|0|1 BW 2 WA 0|1 BW 0|0 G★ 0 EL 2 Thrill

Week 6 Marquee & Picks



Stephen Farkas (0.24 WHIP, 125 K)


Nick Braden (3 HR, 10 RBI – while smoking)


Josh Nagorski (5 R, 15 BB)


Belgian defense turns a DP

Chandler Phillips (.623 SLG%, 1.26 WHIP)


Dakota LaDouceur (.474 OBP, 3 HR)


Kyle Tomlinson (1.448 OPS, 28 R)


Craig Skinner would like you to suck it
The Week 6 Marquee features two teams fighting over the top spot in the Garcia Division. El Diablos (11-3) currently hold a four game lead over the upcoming Belgian Wiffles (6-6). The two teams split the first series, with game one being a 15-1 mercy in favor of El Diablos and game two resulting in a 2-0 perfect game victory for Farkas and the Belgian Wiffles.

El Diablos come off a 4-0 week, where they swept the struggling Islanders and the Flying Squirrels in dominating fashion. El Diablos scored 10+ runs in three out of the four games and didn’t let up more than three all weekend. The star-studded Diablos seemed to be stopped by one man this season: Stephen Farkas. As a team, El Diablos have batted an impressive .349 with 21 HR and 109 total runs through 14 games. However, Farkas threw a perfecto against the slugging Diablos. Can El Diablos finally hit Farkas? Will this be a 30 inning game? I guess we will have to wait and see.

After the epic Skinner vs. Farkas duel likely in game one, game two should offer more hitting. Phillips is the solid #2 of the Diablos famous 1-2 combo with an impressive 1.67 ERA and 1.26 WHIP. The Wiffles, however, don’t have a reliable #2 in their rotation. Nick Braden, David Buhr, Chris Lewis, and Travis Strojny have all pitched behind Farkas, and Lewis is the only pitcher amongst them with an ERA below four, and he has not even pitched seven innings. The Wiffles have played rather consistently this year. With Farkas on the mound, they usually win (he’s 4-1). However, poor hitting overall has prevented the Wiffles from having a winning record. They have batted an abysmal .134, ranked last in the league. Even without a consistent #2 pitcher and poor hitting, the Wiffles are still right in the mix for the play-in game, and taking one or two in this series will put them in a good spot for the playoffs.

The Diablos, however, just keep winning. If they continue their flaming hot first half of the season, they should finish at around 22-6, or even possibly better. But will that be good enough for the home field advantage throughout the playoffs? It all depends on if the Aces pull off 21-7 like 2012 or if they go 25-3 like last year. At the end of the day, sweeping this series would put El Diablos at a comfortable 13-3 that could simply coast to a Garcia Division title.

This series should build up the early, early playoff race. Also a plus, Farkas is scheduled to be taped so all those who haven’t gotten the chance to witness in person yet should get a pretty good view of the man that has thrown three perfectos (so far). All in all, game one should be a must-see and game two is definitely intriguing as well.

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Holy Grounds 'Gian Joint Pervis Memorial King's Castle
5/31 6/1 6/1 6/1
WO1|0 IS2|1 BW3|4 WA0|0
HB11|11 BW13|11 EL0|8 KF1|1

Unavailable Pitchers:
   1 Game:   C. Phillips (EL),  B. D'Agnese (FS),  Paquin (HB),  Murtha (IS),  Castle (KF),  Jardine (ON),  Bortmas (WW),  M. Brannan (WO),  Crozier (WA)
   2 Games:  Farkas (BW)
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+.500 records for all 4 Pickers in Week 5. #2.5takeover played right into their easy-pick wheelhouse. Chris won the week with a perfect 5-0 to extend his lead. Kyle right behind him at 4-1, with a lock-less David going 3-1, and Hollitinder bringing up the rear at 3-2. The least challenged result in gameplay was O/U 2.5 ding dongs by Mark Phillips and Wags — Mark hit 1, but as the mercies and final outs loomed their was no conceivable chance 2 more would come. That was David's lone miss; Jason doubles up with a correct lock. The other two O/U 2.5s were much more down to the wire. Haffey was successful on his first 2 steal attempts, but was then picked off on the third. He used the fourth late in the second game, and got the win for himself and the over; Holli's Wolfpack pride gave him the only miss on that. D'Agnese struck out both Chandler Phillips and Kyle "the Picker" Tomlinson in the first inning. However, Dakota LaDouceur had walked earlier in the game and was caught stealing for the third out — we may have to investigate some El Diablos/Pickers collusion to get the under there. All 4 got this right; Kyle x2 with his lock. The 1-1 series split split the Pickers 2-2: Castle and Paquin (locked) in the right, Jason and Kyle the opposite.

The Farkas perfect games pick obviously remains open through the end of the regular season.

Week 4 is a light week; only 4 series. No shenanigans this time. Big numbers, power numbers, power pitching, and the ever-amusing underdog with the better record are on the table.



David
(11 - 19,  .367)

Jason
(10 - 19,  .345)

Chris
(17 - 14,  .548)

Kyle
(11 - 19,  .367)

@

Total Runs: O/U 30.5
Over

Farkas isn't pitching and Belgian's bats finally come alive
Over

#WalkFest2014 will happen and there will be runs galore
Under

That's about what was put up against the Diablos last week. No way these two teams do that
Over

Not by much though

@

Series Result
El Diablos
Sweep
I can't see Farkas silencing this offense again
1-1
Split
Farkas is too good for any team to beat him, and EL are on a hot steak. They win the one Farkas doesn't pitch
1-1
Split
1-0 Belgian game two. Wastes the starters for two games going 15+ innings
El Diablos
Sweep
Mark Phillips will be on the HR leaderboard after this week

@

Series Spread: HB -4.5
HB -4.5

Dennis pitches a gem and hits 5 homers on the day
HB -4.5

I'm pretty sure I have to pitch a game so I'll take the Balls. We win one game, but the game I pitch gets ugly quick
HB -4.5

Kyle almost got it right, this pick is actually easier than Hollister's sister
HB -4.5

This pick is easier than that Grandma from Tinder that Hollister hooked up with

@

Total HR:
O/U 4.5
Under

New week, new rookie, enough said
Over

55ft fence sets up these teams for a minimum of 7 dongers
Under

Two by Castle, but no more
Under

4 all by Aces

Week 5 Marquee & Picks



Brandon D'Agnese (0.97 WHIP, 74 K)


John Sharlow (.417 SLG%, 9 RBI)


Mike D'Agnese (.422 OBP, 9 RBI)


Kevin Doby (3.25 WHIP, 25 K)

Chris Paquin (1.14 WHIP, 54 K)


Dylan Braden (.732 SLG%, 12 RBI)


Brandon Corbett (.308 AVG, 12 R)


Dennis Pearson (.744 SLG%, 6 HR)
The Week 5 Marquee features a rematch of Week 4, as the Flying Squirrels take on the Holy Balls. This will be the Holy Balls home opener at the Holy Grounds in Wyandotte, and it will be one of two series for the Squirrels this week as they also face El Diablos. These inter-division rivals split the first series with the Squirrels winning the first game and the Holy Balls claiming the second.

It’s been an interesting and wacky season for the entire league, and these two teams are no exception to that wackiness. The visiting Squirrels came out of the gates fast this season en route to a 4-0 start and a #10 national ranking. They then slowed down tremendously in Week 4, as they went 1-3 on the home stand. A 5-3 start is still nothing to be upset about, as they remain in great position early in the season at second place in Ringler.

The Holy Balls on the other hand can’t seem to catch many breaks. Last season, things seemed to go their way in the regular season, but this year has been the exact opposite. At 2-6, they somehow have an even run differential, which is truly incredible. The Balls are third in the league in slugging percentage, .484, and runs scored, 48. With a little luck and more timely hitting, you could easily make a case that they could be a four or five win team through 8 games.

In their Week 4 matchup, the Holy Balls seemed to be in control for both games. Dylan Braden led off the first game with a home run and they had an early 2-0 lead. Dennis Pearson, who was thought to be pulled from the rotation for Brandon Corbett, was inserted at the last minute and looked good early on. He then started to get wild and that lead quickly was wiped out. The Squirrels are very fortunate to take that game, because Game 2 was all Holy Balls. Chris Paquin looked great on the hill and the team hit five home runs. Jason Hewlett was forced to pitch Game 2 for the Squirrels which was his second game of the day. He also pitched in their first series against the Warriors. Other Squirrels pitchers, Kevin Doby and Zac Adams were both absent that series, and Hewlett has been on record saying he has trouble pitching more than one game in a day.

This Week 5 series is very reminiscent of this past week. It is the only series for the Holy Balls and once again the Squirrels play a series beforehand. Brandon D’Agnese has proven he can handle multiple games in a day, but Sessions must hope he can find a third pitcher for Sunday. If the Holy Balls are able to sweep this series, it will put them right back into the playoff hunt. If the Squirrels are able to take both, they will stay comfortably in the middle of the playoff pack. Will Paquin pull another trick and piss off Sessions? Will Zac Adams miss the game thanks to a hangover? Will Ryan Alexia keep swinging the bat? A lot of questions to be answered in this very important series.

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J. Matt Memorial Pervis Memorial Holy Grounds
5/24 5/25 5/25 5/25
ON13|6 IS0|3 FS0|0 FS6|0
WO2|0 EL18|12 EL4|10 HB3|2

Unavailable Pitchers:
   1 Game:   Skinner (EL),  Hewlett (FS),  Paquin (HB),  Murtha (IS),  Castle (KF),  Hool (ON),  Bortmas (WW),  M. Brannan(WO),  Crozier (WA)
   2 Games:  Farkas (BW)
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A better week for the Pickers, as everyone finds themselves with at least 2 correct hits. With the "Under 0.5 triples at the Island" becoming official from Week 3, Chris now finds himself rolling with back-to-back .500 weeks. David "the Tortoise" also sees things going the way of that story as his own .500 performance in Week 4 jumps him into the second spot. His big coup was taking under 2.5 HR in WW/EL, which hit easily, while all the others went over. Nobody got over that halfway mark, though, and the house is still making out dirty. The layup of the week was 'over 3.5 players for King Friday,' which all four guys nailed. On the other side, the '# of outs before a run is scored' once again burned everybody as a lead-off home run put it at 0 once again. Everybody missed with the Warriors sweep up the Squirrels, and the remaining 3 picks saw the pack divided 2-right, 2-wrong on each.

Week 5 take a cue from Hollister channeling David Buhr. It's #2.5takeover time! 4 of the 5 picks directly set a line at 2.5, while the final one - a series result - indirectly sets the number of wins for a team in the season series at 2.5.



David
(8 - 18)

Jason
(7 - 17)

Chris
(12 - 14)

Kyle
(7 - 18)

@

Mark Phillips/Wagner
combinedHR: O/U: 2.5
Over

Mark Phillips for MIP
Under

Ya kiddin me? These 2 both had their glory days in the beginning of the season
Under

Who the fuck is Wagner? #SeriouslyClueless
Under

I see 2, most likely 1 from each, but no more

@

Brandon D'Agnese
1st inning Ks: O/U: 2.5
Under

He'll get two in spite of giving up 5 runs early
Under

He gets a ground ball that touches Skinners Puma flat bill hat first
Under

Under

El Diablos bats will come back alive and stop striking out so damn much

@

Series Result
1-1
Split
Dennis shows why he's a 5 star player
Squirrels
Sweep
Sorry Balls, but I am rooting against you so I can make trades with your team
1-1
Split
I can't side against the Commish. #Respect
Squirrels
Sweep
A bat being whipped at Paquin (again) is highly likely

@

Haffey stolen bases in series:
O/U 2.5
Over

He'll have plenty of chances during this series
Under

Haffey won't be getting on base much this series. He's a cool guy though and I'm rooting for his team this week
Over

Kiefer uses all 4 but gets caught once. #GreedyBastard
Over

... unless "Wet" decides to use all the steals himself


O/U 2.5 perfect games thrown by Farkas rest of 2014 regular season
Over

I mean he already has 3. Why not?
Under

This is like for the year. I'll say under because I think he becomes a pro fisher by week 11
Over

He'll throw 3 out of his next 4 starts. #TooYoungToBeADad
Over

Also over: 2.5 of his Bud Light hats will be drop-kicked

Week 4 Marquee & Picks



Kyle Tomlinson (.469 AVG, 14 R)


Craig Skinner scores


Chandler Phillips(.588 SLG, 14 RBI)


Trey Jardine (1.36 WHIP, 51 K)


Nate Motta (.475 OBP, 6 RBI)


Haffey leaves it up to his rooks this week

This week’s marquee matchup features two teams that came into the 2014 season on opposite sides of the spectrum. El Diablos being the team that everyone knew was a legit title contender and a force to be reckoned with. Then there was the Oakland County Onanism… yes the Onanism, nobody knew a thing about them, they were no shows at both satellite tournaments; everyone expected them to have more losses than wins, to put it nicely. These two teams clash week 4 in an overachiever vs. underachiever matchup.

I call the Onanism overachievers because, as I mentioned before, no one knew anything about them. They were just a squad full of rookies led by a one year veteran in Kiefer Haffey. In just 3 short weeks, the Onanism have managed to turn some major heads by starting out their 2014 campaign with an impressive 5-3 record, which is good for third in the Ringler Division. Surprisingly, they lean heavily on their pitching. They hold a 3.21 ERA as a team which is fourth best in the league, which is incredible considering that they have a rookie pitcher in Trey Jardine and a shaky arm in Haffey doing most of the hurling on the bump. As far as hitting goes, they bat a dismal .173 at the dish, which is one of league’s worst. Their bats need to come alive against El Diablos or it will be a very long day for Onanism’s pitchers.

I call El Diablos underachievers because they made it known to everyone that they wanted to go undefeated for a good portion of the year. However, an unfortunate loss to King Friday and a dominating performance by Farkas have ruined their perfect start. Even though they are 4-2, this team is still in first place and the real deal. They have two very stout pitchers in Chandler Phillips and Craig “Skinflute” Skinner. They also lead the league in team batting with a combined average of .388, along with a monster number of runs scored: 54. They probably have the best mix of hitters and pitchers in the league, despite the record.

This interdivision matchup should be a good one. Will tempers flare? [Ed. note: They'd better not.] Will Chandler blow another kiss to Kiefer? Will the wind play a factor? [Ed. note: It reeeaaally better not. #ButItWill] This week’s marquee will be can’t miss wiffleball.

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The Reservation Jerk Turf King's Castle Chestnut Field
5/17 5/17 5/17 5/17 5/17 5/18 5/18
BW0|4 EL0|8 BW0|1 EL1|3 WO6|5 WW1|7 HB2|8
WW12|0 WW1|3 ON3|0 ON0|0 KF11|9 FS0|0 FS6|1

Unavailable Pitchers:
   1 Game:   Farkas (BW),  Skinner (EL),  Hewlett (FS),  Corbett (HB),  Egan (IS),  Castle (KF),  Jardine (ON),  Hatt (WW),  M. Brannan(WO),  Crozier (WA)
   2 Games:  N/A
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There's still one pick pending from Week 3 — O/U 0.5 triples at the Island — that will be counted once the Wolves and Isles play their series. All of the Pickers took the under, so it won't shake things up much (although Chris did lock it) in what was yet another good week for the house. Jason, Chris, and Kyle all managed to scratch out one correct pick: Chris (1-3 on the week) taking Farkas-led Belgian to split with El Diablos; Jason and Kyle (a 1-3 and 1-4 week, respectively) taking the Aces to cover the points against Westside (which was done easily). After coming back to the pack last week, David slid back again with a zero.

It's still early, though, and Week 4 is a full house with 7 picks.



David
(3 - 14)

Jason
(4 - 12)

Chris
(6 - 10)

Kyle
(4 - 12)

@

Farkas Ks (pitched)
O/U: 15.5
Under

Farkas has a rough time in that Oakland County wind
Under

Farkas can't stop talking about going fishing, so he ends up with 13 Ks against a studly lineup
Over

Bortmas is the only one who makes contact
Over

No perfecto because of wind factor

@

HR in series
O/U: 2.5
Under

The Reservation plays bigger than you think
Over

I had the number 3 in my head for absolutely no reason. 3 is such a nice number #StuffBuhrSays
Over

Hatt, Bortmas, and Shore all take CJ deep
Over

Mark gets tagged and called out for running through first base into fair territory

@

Series Result
Belgian
Sweep
Onanism's luck runs out this week
Belgian
Sweep
The series is close, but the waffle boys take both games in what goes down as the series of the century
1-1
Split
Without their captain, there's no way in hell Belgian can pull off a sweep
1-1
Split
Onanism will steal one

@

Series Spread:
EL -7.5
El Diablos
-7.5
El Diablos bend Onanism over the sink
Onanism
+7.5
Give me the points!!! I still think EL win both, but that's way too many points to give the Jerky Boys
Onanism
+7.5
Skinner gets rattled mentally because of the way the wind affects his hair
El Diablos
-7.5
Gonna get messy quick if "Flip Dick" and friends forget that lube

@

Closest to the # w/o
going over:
Outs recorded before
a run is scored
7

1st run is scored on an RBI walk
3

I like 3. Still can't stop thinking about the number 3
6

should've been set at 2.5 on the over/under for bats broken by D'Agnese. I would've taken the over
5

Sharlow with a Ding Dong Daddy

@

Series Result
1-1
Split
This will be a very good series
1-1
Split
No reason, just think it will split. I also feel like the number 3 will be important in this series somehow
1-1
Split
Bullard will be hungover and will NOT make the series
Flying Squirrels
Sweep
Please please please bring that flawless record to Pervis

@

Players fielded by KF:
O/U 3.5
Over

If I get this wrong then I will go run in traffic with scissors while blindfolded
Under

Looks like the number 3 has reared it's ugly head again. #Three
Over

If Castle doesn't have a full team, he won't play. It's got to be the over
Over

I have faith in Dave